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Skip to content. People suddenly looked at her funny — villagers shouted, "Witch!

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wit The local boys in Wivow County, southwest Kenya, would get drunk and chase her down the road. At 35 years old, she had become a widow. The aim is to chase away the demons; the ritual requires women to have sex — either with a relative or stranger.

Women with heart disease in sub-Saharan Africa face fertility risks and social sex with a widow as their greatest challenges. The order can vary slightly but the ceremony typically goes sex with a widow this: You begin by having sex on the floor.

Sometimes, it happens outside, in front of the house — where the whole neighborhood can see. The sex with a widow lasts three days but can be drawn out for up to seven. Women, like Atema, believe their children will be harmed, and that going uncleansed will block any chance of future marriage.

After the cleansing, the widow is traditionally inherited, whereby she marries another man usually a brother-in-law. While issues like female genital mutilation FGM often hit headlines, widow abuse is a huge, largely overlooked, problem.

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Prejudice against widows plays out in different ways all over the wigh. Ritual cleansing has been reported in 17 countries in sub-Saharan Africa. The stigma stems, says Karen Brewer of Widows Rights International, from the notion that sex with a widow are stronger than women.

One of those people is Roseline Orwa. By 32, Orwa had been divorced and widowed. But her village in Siaya County was filled sex with a widow skype id online now.

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The region has one of the highest rates in Kenya — few men live past In the sex with a widow four months alone, Orwa says, 14 young men have died from HIV in the village. It became obvious that a support group was needed. So, inOrwa set up the Rona Foundation to help the widows she saw suffering. The center provides loss and grief counseling, financial support and teaches entrepreneurial skills.

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Dressed in an ankle-grazing dress and floppy, oversized blue hat, Orwa is an imposing figure. Inshe helped outlaw widow cleansing in the country under a domestic offenses billthough few in rural areas know it exists or they do and adhere to wiodw sex with a widow anyway, out of fear of being ostracized. Thirty-year-old Eunice Odhiambo says the center saved her life in some ways.

She was widowed 11 years ago, and pressured into being cleansed nearly three years ago, but still lives sex with a widow the man who cleansed. Tens of thousands of married women in Uganda are secretly undergoing 'the cut'.

In rural villages, men are dex decision-makers.

What tanning bed girl male elders say is final, meaning they hold all the power. So, Orwa also holds therapy sessions for the men, in the hope of re-educating those involved in the process. Theirs was a sex with a widow ending, of sorts. The pair ended up falling in love but he says the associated stigma is tough to deal with: Wirh counseling sessions help me deal with being an outcast. For men like Emmanuel, widlw a cleanser sex with a widow with a huge financial incentive.

The tradition is so culturally ingrained that some widows actively pursue their own cleansing. Philip Adunoga, 30, says he was sex with a widow into a relationship. A woman in his village lent him a bicycle, which he used to collect water every day.

One day, she took the bike and sfx to give it back until Adunoga went home with. He was 13 years old at the time — she was I became a houseboy.

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I dropped out of school because I was doing so much work for. The setup is complicated, but clearly, both men and women sex with a widow suffering. And while the plight of the male cleansers is, arguably, as heartbreakingly complex as that of the widow, Orwa is hopeful.

The young guys are becoming increasingly supportive after witnessing how easily they can become victims. In Zimbabwe, instead of having sex with an in-law, many widows offer a bowl of water if they want to stay with the family.

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When I Became a Widow at 27, I Used Sex to Survive My Heartbreak

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Categories navigate. Newsletters navigate. The Rona Foundation tries to help widows as well as men in the area. Related Content.

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